Reading The Lightning Thief
by AntoniaRose
Summary: The demigods travel back in time to read the Percy Jackson series with the Gods. Filled with jokes, humour and the occasional sentimentality. Story WILL be completed all the way to Last Olympian.
1. Chapter 1

_Hey everyone! I've been inspired to start this fanfic, after reading loads of fics like this, and finding them really funny and entertaining to read. This is mostly just for my own pleasure, and fun, but if anyone else is reading, I hope you enjoy it, and that it makes you smile. _

_This takes place a couple of years after Thalia is turned into a tree. _

_Happy reading!_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson and the Olympians. _

Chapter One: Introduction

It was the Winter Solstice, and a pretty normal day on Olympus. Zeus and Poseidon were bickering as usual, Aphrodite was checking her hair and makeup, and Hermes was constantly checking his phone.

It was rather a mystery to Athena why they even bothered to hold a council in the first place. Nothing got done.

It was just a waste of time.

Suddenly there was a flash of blinding white light, and a group of people appeared.

"Nico, get OFF!"

"Yeah, well, maybe if you take your foot out of my face!"

"Shut up! Travis, you're squashing me!"

"Ow! Why is that I'm the one who always gets squashed…or at the bottom…or something!" a boy asked, somewhere near the bottom of the pile. "That's because you're the boy!" a girl asked, huffing as she managed to untangle herself from the group and straightened up.

"WHAT IS THIS?" Zeus thundered as all the teenagers managed to untangle themselves and stand up. The eyes of the boys and girls standing in front of the gods widened.

No one said anything for a moment, before a very good-looking boy with jet-black hair and sea-green eyes stepped forward.

"I'm Perseus Jackson, son of Poseidon."

Poseidon's eyes widened. His son should technically only be nine years old, yet here he was looking like he was 17.

"Poseidon!" Zeus thundered again. "You broke the oath!"

Before Poseidon could retaliate, the girl next to him stepped forward and Zeus's eyes widened.

She too, had dark hair, but her eyes were piercing blue.

"I'm Thalia Grace," she said. "Daughter of Zeus, Lieutenant of Artemis."

"But you're a tree!" Zeus cried. "You died two years ago!" A tear shone in his eye at the mention of it.

Thalia smiled. "This is in the future, Dad," she said. Artemis frowned as something Thalia had said struck her, and her eyes widened in alarm. "You're my lieutenant?" she asked, worried. "What happened to Zoe?"

A sadness crossed Thalia's face, and she and Percy exchanged looks of sadness.

Poseidon meanwhile was glaring at Zeus. "You were saying something, brother?" he asked forcefully, and Zeus muttered something before backing down.

The other demigods stepped forward and introduced themselves.

"Annabeth Chase, Daughter of Athena." Athena smiled as she saw her pretty blonde daughter.

"Nico di Angelo, Son of Hades."

"You also broke the oath!" Zeus and Poseidon turned to their brother. Hades smirked. "Nope, I was just smart, unlike you two dunderheads, and hid him away from the world."

"How-" Zeus started to ask but Nico cut in. "You'll find out later."

The other demigods introduced themselves.

"Katie Gardner, Daughter of Demeter."

"Connor Stoll, Son of Hermes."

"Travis Stoll, Son of Hermes."

"Chris Rodriguez, Son of Hermes."

"Will Solace, Son of Apollo."

"Clarisse La Rue, Daughter of Ares."

"Grover Underwood, Satyr."

"Well, and what are you all doing here?" Hades asked. Percy cleared his throat and Poseidon noticed how everyone seemed to look at him, as if he was the leader. "Um…someone sent us here…to read books about the future with you."

"Do you have proof?" Artemis asked. Percy nodded, and stepped forward to give Artemis a package. She took it and ripped it open. Five books fell out onto her lap, along with an envelope.

Artemis picked up the note and tore it open.

_My dear children, _

_I have sent these books to you from the future. Please read it along with your demigod children, also from the future. _

_Do not do ANYTHING that might change the course of the future, because it will all turn out alright in the end. This is simply to help and prepare you for the challenges ahead. Also please have Hestia attend, as she is very important to the story. _

_Love,_

_Mother Rhea_

Then Artemis turned to the books.

She picked them up and read the titles. "Percy Jackson and the Olympians, the Lightning Thief, the Sea of Monsters, the Titan's Curse, the Battle of the Labyrinth, the Last Olympian.

"Ooh, Percy, this books must be in your point of view!" Thalia said excitedly.

"Yeah, we get to hear about your thoughts….about you know!" Nico said, grinning wickedly.

Aphrodite sat up straighter, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "Who is this _you know_?!" she asked.

"NO ONE!" Percy said, turning red. Annabeth blushed, but thankfully Aphrodite didn't notice. Athena did though, and frowned.

"So, why don't we start reading?" Aphrodite said, eager to know who was the _you know_ Nico had mentioned. The gods shrank down to human form, and snapped their fingers. Instantly, comfortable armchairs appeared for the demigods to sit down on, and they flopped on it, talking excitedly.

"Who wants to read first?" Athena asked. "I will," Zeus said, taking the book. He turned to the first page and read out the chapter name.


	2. Chapter 2

_Thank you to all those people who followed and favourited! This chapter is for you. _

_Happy reading! _

_Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson and the Olympians. _

Chapter Two: I Accidentally Vaporise My Pre-Algebra Teacher

Before Zeus could say anything, Athena stopped him. "Wait! Rhea said to include Hestia!" Zeus nodded. "Hestia!" he called, and a little girl in a brown dress ran into the hall. She smiled at the demigods, who smiled back at her.

After Athena explained what they were doing, Hestia sat down and Zeus continued.

Zeus turned to the first chapter and read the chapter title out loud. **Chapter One. I Accidentally Vaporise my Pre-Algebra Teacher. **

Poseidon groaned. _Great, my son is already getting into trouble._

**Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood. **

"Who does?" Thalia asked. "You have to try not to get killed most of the time." The rest of the demigods nodded.

**If you're reading this because you think you might be one, my advice is: **

"Oh no! Percy's giving advice!" Thalia yelled.

"Call 911!"

Percy scowled at Thalia and Nico.

**close this book right now. Believe whatever lie your mom or dad told you about your birth and try to lead a normal life. **

"Hey, Percy actually gave good advice," Nico said, surprised.

Percy pretended to be hurt.

**Being a half-blood is dangerous. It's scary. Most of the time, it gets you killed in painful, nasty ways. **

"Way to be optimistic, Perce," Thalia complimented her cousin.

**If you're a normal kid, reading this because you think it's fiction, great. Read on. I envy you for being able to believe that none of this ever happened. **

**But if you recognize yourself in these pages-if you feel something stirring inside-stop reading immediately. You might be one of us. And once you know that, it's only a matter of time before they sense it too, and they'll come for you. **

**Don't say I didn't warn you.**

"Well, no one warned me," Nico pouted.

Percy and Thalia rolled their eyes.

**My name is Percy Jackson. **

**I'm twelve years old. Until a few months ago, I was a boarding student at Yancy Academy, a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York. **

**Am I a troubled kid?**

"Saying Percy's not a troubled kid is like saying Annabeth's not smart," Nico snickered.

**Yeah. You could say that. **

"He even admits it!" Thalia and Nico said in unison. Percy scowled at them both.

They cracked up.

**I could start at any point in my short miserable life to prove it, but things really started going bad last May, when our sixth-grade class took a field trip to Manhattan- twenty-eight mental-case kids and two teachers on a yellow school bus, heading to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at ancient Greek and Roman stuff. **

Athena's and Annabeth's eyes brightened. "That's sounds awesome!" Annabeth said dreamily.

**I know-it sounds like torture. **

Athena and Annabeth glowered at Percy who hastily held up his hands in surrender. The rest of the demigods tried not to laugh.

**Most Yancy field trips were. **

**But Mr Brunner, our Latin teacher, was leading this trip, so I had hopes. **

"Isn't that Chiron?" Thalia asked, and Percy nodded.

**Mr Brunner was this middle-aged guy in a motorized wheelchair. He had thinning hair and a scruffy beard and a frayed tweed jacket, which always smelled like coffee.**

"I don't think Chiron would like that description very much," Apollo joked.

**You wouldn't think he'd be cool, but he told stories and jokes and let us play games in class. He also had this awesome collection of Roman armour and weapons, so he was the only teacher whose class didn't put me to sleep. **

"You sleep in class?" Athena asked, narrowing her eyes at Percy. Percy gulped as he faced his girlfriend's mother. "Only-only then," he stammered lamely.

Thalia and Nico snickered again.

**I hoped the trip would be okay. At least, I hoped that for once I wouldn't get in trouble.**

"You just jinxed it!" Travis complained. "Come on, Percy."

**Boy, was I wrong. **

Hermes and Apollo leaned forward eagerly.

**See, bad things happen to me on field trips. Like at my fifth-grade school, when we went to the Saratoga battlefield, I had this accident with a Revolutionary War cannon. I wasn't aiming for the school bus, but of course I got expelled anyway. **

"How do you _accidentally_ fire a war cannon?" Annabeth asked, raising an eyebrow. Percy shrugged. "I have no idea."

The eyes of the Stolls widened. "You thinking what I'm thinking?" Travis asked, turning to Connor.

"No," Annabeth broke in, before Connor could say anything. "Aww!" the Stolls whined. "Just once, Annabeth?"

Annabeth shook her head firmly, and the Stolls pouted.

**And before that, at my fourth-grade school, when we took a behind-the-scenes tour of the Marine World shark pool, I sort of hit the wrong lever on the catwalk and our class took an unplanned swim. **

Hermes and Apollo were rolling on the floor laughing. "Oh…gods…." Hermes gasped. Apollo was laughing too hard to say anything.

Artemis rolled her eyes. "Boys," she muttered.

**And the time before that…well, you get the idea.**

"No!" the two gods yelled. "It was just starting to get good."

"What did happen the time before, anyway?" Chris asked Percy.

He turned red. "Um, I learned that if you happened to go the museum, they appreciate it if you don't break anything. Or someone's head."

Everyone burst out laughing at this.

Zeus composed himself and continued reading.

**This trip, I was determined to be good. **

"Riiiight…." Thalia said, cocking an eyebrow.

**All the way into the city, I put up with Nancy Bobofit, the freckly red-headed kleptomaniac girl, hitting my best friend, Grover, in the back of the head with chunks of peanut butter-and-ketchup sandwich. **

Thalia's and Nico's eyes narrowed dangerously.

**Grover was an easy target. **

"What's that supposed to mean?" Grover asked, looking at Percy. Percy smiled sheepishly.

**He was scrawny. He cried-**

"I do not cry!" Grover protested vehemently.

"Oh yeah? What about that time in the cafeteria when-"

"Okay, maybe that ONE time!" Grover yelled, turning red. "But still!"

"Hey, the truth hurts, man."

**-when he got frustrated. He must've been held back several grades, because he was the only sixth grader with acne and the start of a wispy beard on his chin.**

"In my defence, I was 28 years old."

**On top of all that, he was crippled. **

"Gee, what a nice flattering description," Grover said sarcastically.

Percy shrugged apologetically.

**He had a note excusing him from PE for the rest of his life because he had some kind of muscular disease in his legs. He walked funny, like every step hurt him, but don't let that fool you. You should've seen him run when it was enchilada day in the cafeteria. **

Everyone laughed.

Grover blushed.

**Anyway, Nancy Bobofit was throwing wads of sandwich that stuck in his curly brown hair, and she knew I couldn't do anything back to her because I was already on probation. The headmaster had threatened me with death-**

"WHAT?" Poseidon yelled.

**by in-school suspension-**

"Oh," Poseidon said, leaning back in his throne, relieved.

**-if anything bad, embarrassing, or even mildly entertaining happened on this trip.**

Apollo pouted. "Aww."

**"I'm going to kill her," I mumbled. **

**Grover tried to calm me down. "It's okay. I like peanut butter." **

**He dodged another piece of Nancy's lunch. **

Thalia pulled out Aegis and started playing with it while glaring at the book murderously.

**"That's it." I started to get up, but Grover pulled me back to my seat. **

**"You're already on probation," he reminded me. "You know who'll get blamed if anything happens."**

"I get blamed for everything," Percy grumbled.

**Looking back on it, I wish I'd decked Nancy Bobofit right then and there. In-school suspension would've been nothing compared to the mess I was about to get myself into. **

Poseidon turned pale.

**Mr Brunner led the museum tour.**

**He rode up front in his wheelchair, guiding us through the big echoey galleries, past marble statues and glass cases full of really old black-and-orange pottery. **

**It blew my mind that this stuff had survived for two thousand, three thousand years. **

"Longer," Athena and Annabeth said together, and smiled at each other.

**He gathered us around a thirteen-foot-tall stone column with a big sphinx on the top, and started telling us how it was a grave marker, a stele, for a girl about our age. He told us about the carvings on the sides. I was trying to listen to what he had to say-**

Thalia and Nico gasped. "Percy. Actually. Paid. Attention. In. Class," Nico stuttered out like he was dying.

They started whooping and cheering like Percy had won the Olympics.

Percy turned red.

**-because it was kind of interesting, but everybody around me was talking, and every time I told them to shut up, the other teacher chaperone, Mrs Dodds, would give me the evil eye.**

**Mrs Dodds was this little math teacher from Georgia who always wore a black leather jacket, even though she was fifty years old. She looked mean enough to ride a Harley right into your locker. She had come to Yancy halfway through the year, when our last math teacher had a nervous breakdown. **

**From her first day, Mrs Dodds loved Nancy Bobofit and figured I was devil spawn. She would point her crooked finger at me and say, "Now, honey," real sweet, and I knew I was going to get after-school detention for a month. **

"What's with the 'honey'" Katie asked, frowning. Percy shook his head and smiled secretly.

**One time, after she'd made me erase answers out of old math workbooks until midnight, I told Grover I didn't think Mrs. Dodds was human. He looked at me, real serious, and said, "You're absolutely right." **

"Way to blow your cover, Grover," Annabeth muttered.

Grover blushed.

Athena looked at Hades and figured it out.

**Mr. Brunner kept talking about Greek funeral art. **

**Finally, Nancy Bobofit snickered something about the naked guy on the stele-**

Everyone in the room snorted.

**and I turned around and said, "Will you shut up?" **

**It came out louder than I meant it to. **

Thalia rolled her eyes.

**The whole group laughed. Mr. Brunner stopped his story. **

"**Mr. Jackson," he said, "did you have a comment?" **

**My face was totally red. **

"Like it is now," Nico laughed.

Percy shot Nico a glare. Annabeth smiled and squeezed his hand quickly. Athena noticed this and frowned. _It could just be a friendly gesture…_

**I said, "No, sir." **

**Mr. Brunner pointed to one of the pictures on the stele. "Perhaps you'll tell us what this picture represents?" **

**I looked at the carving, and felt a flush of relief, because I actually recognized it. "That's Kronos eating his kids, right?" **

All the gods groaned. "Chiron _had _to pick that one?" Hades grumbled.

**"Yes," Mr. Brunner said, obviously not satisfied. "And he did this because ..." **

**"Well..." I racked my brain to remember. "Kronos was the king god-**

"God?" Zeus asked, looking at Percy. "I didn't know back then," Percy defended himself. "Anyway, I'm pretty sure I'm going to be corrected."

**and-" **

**"God?" Mr. Brunner asked. **

"See!"

**"Titan," I corrected myself. "And ... he didn't trust his kids, who were the gods. So, um, Kronos ate them, right?**

"Urgh," Hera groaned. "Try being inside his stomach. It stinks. And it looks so…." She shuddered.

Aphrodite turned green, and looked like she was about to throw up.

**But his wife hid baby Zeus, and gave Kronos a rock to eat instead. **

"I still think it's unfair that he got to survive and the rest of us were eaten," Hades grumbled.

"Yeah, but it also means that he looks like a rock," Poseidon said, grinning.

Everyone laughed.

Hades and Poseidon high-fived, while Zeus looked mad. "Whatever," he mumbled. The demigods smiled at the childish behaviour of the gods.

**And later, when Zeus grew up, he tricked his dad, Kronos, into barfing up his brothers and sisters-" **

**"Eeew!" said one of the girls behind me. **

"Yeah, tell her to go be in his stomach for years," Hermes grumbled.

**"-and so there was this big fight between the gods and the Titans," I continued, "and the gods won." **

"Good job at simplifying a hundred-year war!" Apollo laughed.

**Some snickers from the group.**

**Behind me, Nancy Bobofit mumbled to a friend, "Like we're going to use this in real life. Like it's going to say on our job applications, 'Please explain why Kronos ate his kids.'" **

Some of the demigods snickered.

**"And why, Mr. Jackson," Brunner said, "to paraphrase Miss Bobofit's excellent question, does this matter in real life?" **

"Busted," Grover laughed.

**"Busted," Grover muttered. **

Everyone laughed and Grover blushed. "You don't change much, Grover," Annabeth smiled.

**"Shut up," Nancy hissed, her face even brighter red than her hair. **

**At least Nancy got packed, too. Mr. Brunner was the only one who ever caught her saying anything wrong. He had radar ears. **

"Yeah, he does," the Stolls muttered. They got a few curious looks but shook their heads.

**I thought about his question, and shrugged. "I don't know, sir." **

"Believe me, I know way more about it now than I wanted to."

**I see." Mr. Brunner looked disappointed. "Well, half credit, Mr. Jackson. Zeus did indeed feed Kronos a mixture of mustard and wine-**

"Still can't believe how he fell for that," Zeus snickered.

**-which made him disgorge his other five children, who, of course, being immortal gods, had been living and growing up completely undigested in the Titan's stomach. The gods defeated their father, sliced him to pieces with his own scythe, and scattered his remains in Tartarus, the darkest part of the Underworld. On that happy note, it's time for lunch.**

"Really Chiron?" the gods said in unison. "Someone needs to learn how to change the subject better," Apollo said.

**Mrs. Dodds, would you lead us back outside?" **

**The class drifted off, the girls holding their stomachs, the guys pushing each other around and acting like doo-fuses. **

"When do guys not act like doofuses?" Artemis rolled her eyes.

**Grover and I were about to follow when Mr. Brunner said, "Mr. Jackson." **

**I knew that was coming.**

**I told Grover to keep going. Then I turned toward Mr. Brunner. "Sir?" **

**Mr. Brunner had this look that wouldn't let you go- intense brown eyes that could've been a thousand years old and had seen everything. **

"Probably."

**"You must learn the answer to my question," Mr. Brunner told me. **

**"About the Titans?" **

**"About real life. And how your studies apply to it." **

**"Oh." **

**"What you learn from me," he said, "is vitally important. I expect you to treat it as such. I will accept only the best from you, Percy Jackson." **

**I wanted to get angry, this guy pushed me so hard. **

Percy looked guilty.

**I mean, sure, it was kind of cool on tournament days, when he dressed up in a suit of Roman armour and shouted: "What ho!'" and challenged us, sword-point against chalk, to run to the board and name every Greek and Roman person who had ever lived, and their mother, and what god they worshipped. **

"He expects you to remember all that?" Annabeth asked. "Even I can't do that."

Travis gasped. "Annabeth Chase doesn't know something. The world has ended!"

Annabeth glared at him, and unsurprisingly, he shut up.

**But Mr. Brunner expected me to be as good as everybody else, despite the fact that I have dyslexia and attention deficit disorder and I had never made above a C- in my life. No-he didn't expect me to be as good; he expected me to be better. And I just couldn't learn all those names and facts, much less spell them correctly. **

The demigods nodded sympathetically.

**I mumbled something about trying harder, while Mr. Brunner took one long sad look at the stele, like he'd been at this girl's funeral.**

"He probably had," Hermes muttered.

"He's been at lots of girls' funerals," Thalia said sadly.

**He told me to go outside and eat my lunch. **

"Again with the subject change," Apollo sighed.

**The class gathered on the front steps of the museum, where we could watch the foot traffic along Fifth Avenue. **

**Overhead, a huge storm was brewing, with clouds blacker than I'd ever seen over the city. **

Everyone looked at Zeus.

**I figured maybe it was global warming or something, because the weather all across New York state had been weird since Christmas. We'd had massive snow storms, flooding, wildfires from lightning strikes. I wouldn't have been surprised if this was a hurricane blowing in. **

Now everyone looked at Zeus _and_ Poseidon.

"What are you guys fighting about _now_?" Athena groaned.

Zeus and Poseidon shrugged defensively. "I don't know, it's in the future!" Zeus said.

**Nobody else seemed to notice. Some of the guys were pelting pigeons with Lunchables crackers.**

Grover's eyes narrowed.

**Nancy Bobofit was trying to pickpocket something from a lady's purse, and, of course, Mrs. Dodds wasn't seeing a thing. **

"Of course," Poseidon muttered.

**Grover and I sat on the edge of the fountain, away from the others. We thought that maybe if we did that, everybody wouldn't know we were from that school-the school for loser freaks who couldn't make it elsewhere. **

"Yeah, like that'll happen," Nico rolled his eyes.

**"Detention?" Grover asked. **

**"Nah," I said. "Not from Brunner. I just wish he'd lay off me sometimes. I mean-I'm not a genius."**

**Grover didn't say anything for a while. Then, when I thought he was going to give me some deep philosophical comment to make me feel better, he said, "Can I have your apple?" **

Everyone burst out laughing, even Dionysus.

Grover blushed.

**I didn't have much of an appetite, so I let him take it. **

**I watched the stream of cabs going down Fifth Avenue, and thought about my mom's apartment, only a little ways uptown from where we sat. I hadn't seen her since Christmas. I wanted so bad to jump in a taxi and head home. She'd hug me and be glad to see me, but she'd be disappointed, too. She'd send me right back to Yancy, remind me that I had to try harder, even if this was my sixth school in six years-**

The Stolls whistled in admiration.

**-and I was probably going to be kicked out again. I wouldn't be able to stand that sad look she'd give me. **

**Mr. Brunner parked his wheelchair at the base of the handicapped ramp. He ate celery while he read a paperback novel. A red umbrella stuck up from the back of his chair, making it look like a motorized cafe table. **

**I was about to unwrap my sandwich when Nancy Bobofit appeared in front of me with her ugly friends-I guess she'd gotten tired of stealing from the tourists-and dumped her half-eaten lunch in Grover's lap. **

"**Oops," she grinned at me with her crooked teeth. Her freckles were orange, as if someone had spray-painted her face with liquid Cheetos. **

"Urgh," Aphrodite squealed. "She needs an extreme makeover!"

**I tried to stay cool. The school counsellor had told me a million times, "Count to ten, get control of your temper." But I was so mad my mind went blank. A wave roared in my ears. **

"Go Percy!" the demigods cheered.

**I don't remember touching her, but the next thing I knew, Nancy was sitting on her butt in the fountain-**

Everyone whooped and clapped.

Poseidon looked proud.

**screaming, "Percy pushed me!" **

"He did not!"

**Mrs. Dodds materialized next to us. **

Everyone groaned at this. Percy winced, remembering what came next.

**Some of the kids were whispering: "Did you see-" **

**"-the water-" **

**"-like it grabbed her-"**

Thalia and Nico looked smug.

"So much for being good."

**I didn't know what they were talking about. All I knew was that I was in trouble again. **

"Classic Seaweed Brain," Thalia and Annabeth said together.

**As soon as Mrs. Dodds was sure poor little Nancy-**

"EXCUSE ME?" all the Poseidon and the demigods said together.

"Poor little Nancy?" Nico growled.

"Once I get my bow-"

"Can we please get on with the story?" Percy calmed his cousins down.

**-was okay, promising to get her a new shirt at the museum gift shop, etc., etc., Mrs. Dodds turned on me. There was a triumphant fire in her eyes, as if I'd done something she'd been waiting for all semester. "Now, honey-" **

"The 'honey' thing is really starting to creep me out," Annabeth frowned.

"Hold on a minute…" Nico's eyes widened. "Honey?"

He looked at his dad, who appeared to be realising something. Hades glanced at Poseidon.

**"I know," I grumbled. "A month erasing workbooks." **

Hermes, Apollo and the Stolls shook their heads.

"Never guess your punishment."

**That wasn't the right thing to say. **

**"Come with me," Mrs. Dodds said. **

**"Wait!" Grover yelped. "It was me. I pushed her." **

"Grover?"

Everyone stared at Grover, not understanding, except for Athena, Hades and Nico who had figured it out.

**I stared at him, stunned. I couldn't believe he was trying to cover for me. Mrs. Dodds scared Grover to death. **

"You would be scared of her too," Grover muttered under his breath. "If you knew her.

**She glared at him so hard his whiskery chin trembled. **

**"I don't think so, Mr. Underwood," she said. **

**"But-" **

**"You-will-stay-here." **

**Grover looked at me desperately.**

**"It's okay, man," I told him. "Thanks for trying." **

**"Honey," Mrs. Dodds barked at me. **

"Could she _please_ drop the freaking 'honey'?" Thalia said impatiently.

**"Now." **

**Nancy Bobofit smirked. **

Everyone slid away from Nico and Thalia.

**I gave her my deluxe I'll-kill-you-later stare. **

"Oh, you _so _do not want to be on the receiving end of _that_," Nico said.

Percy smirked.

**Then I turned to face Mrs. Dodds, but she wasn't there. She was standing at the museum entrance, way at the top of the steps, gesturing impatiently at me to come on. **

A few more of the gods figured it out, including Zeus.

Annabeth, Thalia and Katie shared a glance, the realisation dawning on them.

**How'd she get there so fast? **

**I have moments like that a lot, when my brain falls asleep or something,-**

"A few?" Nico, Thalia and Annabeth asked.

"I was kinda confused back then!"

**-and the next thing I know I've missed something, as if a puzzle piece fell out of the universe and left me staring at the blank place behind it. The school counsellor told me this was part of the ADHD, my brain misinterpreting things. **

**I wasn't so sure. **

**I went after Mrs. Dodds. **

Poseidon paled. He knew she was some kind of monster.

"Percy…" he said worriedly.

**Halfway up the steps, I glanced back at Grover. He was looking pale, cutting his eyes between me and Mr. Brunner, like he wanted Mr. Brunner to notice what was going on, but Mr. Brunner was absorbed in his novel. **

"Great," Poseidon muttered. "Just great."

"I really need to talk with Chiron."

**I looked back up. Mrs. Dodds had disappeared again. She was now inside the building, at the end of the entrance hall. **

**Okay, I thought. She's going to make me buy a new shirt for Nancy at the gift shop. **

"Please, please, please let that be it," Poseidon pleaded.

**But apparently that wasn't the plan. **

The God of the Sea groaned.

**I followed her deeper into the museum. When I finally caught up to her, we were back in the Greek and Roman section. **

**Except for us, the gallery was empty. **

"Oh no."

**Mrs. Dodds stood with her arms crossed in front of a big marble frieze of the Greek gods. She was making this weird noise in her throat, like growling. **

"This. Is. Not. Good," Apollo said.

"Wow, we _totally_ didn't know that," Artemis replied sarcastically.

**Even without the noise, I would've been nervous. It's weird being alone with a teacher, especially Mrs. Dodds. Something about the way she looked at the frieze, as if she wanted to pulverize it... **

"Probably did," Percy said.

**"You've been giving us problems, honey," she said. **

**I did the safe thing. I said, "Yes, ma'am." **

**She tugged on the cuffs of her leather jacket. "Did you really think you would get away with it?" **

**The look in her eyes was beyond mad. It was evil. **

Ares and Clarisse leaned forward eagerly, anticipating a fight.

**She's a teacher, I thought nervously. It's not like she's going to hurt me. **

"You wish."

**I said, "I'll-I'll try harder, ma'am." **

**Thunder shook the building. **

Everyone glanced at Zeus, who looked mystified.

**"We are not fools, Percy Jackson," Mrs. Dodds said. "It was only a matter of time before we found you out. Confess, and you will suffer less pain." **

**I didn't know what she was talking about. **

**All I could think of was that the teachers must've found the illegal stash of candy I'd been selling out of my dorm room. **

All the boys started drooling.

The girls rolled their eyes.

**Or maybe they'd realized I got my essay on Tom Sawyer from the Internet without ever reading the book-**

"That is called plagiarism!" Athena cried, indignant.

"Sorry," Percy apologized.

-**and now they were going to take away my grade. Or worse, they were going to make me read the book. **

Annabeth punched her boyfriend in the arm.

"What? I did read it after that, I swear!" Percy protested.

Annabeth hid a smile.

**"Well?" she demanded. **

**"Ma'am, I don't..." **

**"Your time is up," she hissed. **

**Then the weirdest thing happened. Her eyes began to glow like barbecue coals. Her fingers stretched, turning into talons. Her jacket melted into large, leathery wings. **

World War 3 broke out.

"YOU _DARE_ SET A FURY ON _MY SON!" _Poseidon yelled, getting off his throne and looking ready to jump on Hades and strangle him.

Zeus, Apollo, Hermes and Ares held him back.

Poseidon's eyes flashed murderously.

"It's in the future!" Hades yelled. "How can you blame me?"

Not able to find a suitable response, Poseidon grumbled and went back to his seat.

All the demigods felt slightly jealous that Percy had such a protective father.

**She wasn't human. She was a shrivelled hag with bat wings and claws and a mouth full of yellow fangs, and she was about to slice me to ribbons. **

"Isn't that Alecto?" Nico asked, looked at his father.

Hades frowned. "Yes. I need to have a word with her about that."

**Then things got even stranger. **

**Mr. Brunner, who'd been out in front of the museum a minute before, wheeled his chair into the doorway of the gallery, holding a pen in his hand. **

**"What ho, Percy!" he shouted, and tossed the pen through the air. **

"Hold on…is that-" Thalia, Nico and Poseidon asked.

"Yup!" Percy replied taking out Riptide and uncapping it.

It elongated into a bronze sword.

**Mrs. Dodds lunged at me. **

**With a yelp, I dodged and felt talons slash the air next to my ear. I snatched the ballpoint pen out of the air, but when it hit my hand, it wasn't a pen anymore. It was a sword-Mr. Brunner's bronze sword, which he always used on tournament day. **

**Mrs. Dodds spun toward me with a murderous look in her eyes. **

**My knees were jelly. My hands were shaking so bad I almost dropped the sword. **

"Wimp," Ares snickered.

He got doused with water.

**She snarled, "Die, honey!" **

"Again with the bloody 'honey'," Thalia grumbled.

**And she flew straight at me. **

**Absolute terror ran through my body. I did the only thing that came naturally: I swung the sword. **

"That comes naturally?" everyone asked.

Percy shrugged. "It seemed like the right thing to do."

**The metal blade hit her shoulder and passed clean through her body as if she were made of water. **

**Hiss! **

**Mrs. Dodds was a sand castle in a power fan. She exploded into yellow powder, vaporized on the spot, leaving nothing but the smell of sulphur and a dying screech and a chill of evil in the air, as if those two glowing red eyes were still watching me. **

Everyone was impressed.

"You defeated Alecto without training?" Hades raised an eyebrow. "Not an easy feat, nephew."

Percy looked kind of stunned.

"Um…thanks Lord Hades."

**I was alone. **

**There was a ballpoint pen in my hand. **

**Mr. Brunner wasn't there. Nobody was there but me. **

**My hands were still trembling. My lunch must've been contaminated with magic mushrooms or something. **

Everyone snorted.

**Had I imagined the whole thing? **

**I went back outside. **

**It had started to rain. **

**Grover was sitting by the fountain, a museum map tented over his head. Nancy Bobofit was still standing there, soaked from her swim in the fountain, grumbling to her ugly friends. When she saw me, she said, "I hope Mrs. Kerr whipped your butt." **

"Who?" Nico said.

**I said, "Who?" **

"NO!" Nico exclaimed, looking horrified. "I think like Percy!"

Thalia gasped.

Percy rolled his eyes.

**"Our teacher. Duh!" **

**I blinked. We had no teacher named Mrs. Kerr. I asked Nancy what she was talking about. **

"The Mist?"

"Yep."

**She just rolled her eyes and turned away. **

**I asked Grover where Mrs. Dodds was. **

**He said, "Who?" **

**But he paused first, and he wouldn't look at me, so I thought he was messing with me. **

"Oh, come on, Grover. You _never, ever_ pause when lying. Any sane person knows that," Travis complained.

Grover looked offended.

**"Not funny, man," I told him. "This is serious." **

**Thunder boomed overhead. **

Cue looks at a confused Zeus.

**I saw Mr. Brunner sitting under his red umbrella, reading his book, as if he'd never moved. **

**I went over to him. **

**He looked up, a little distracted. "Ah, that would be my pen. Please bring your own writing utensil in the future, Mr. Jackson." **

**I handed Mr. Brunner his pen. I hadn't even realized I was still holding it. **

**"Sir," I said, "where's Mrs. Dodds?" **

**He stared at me blankly. "Who?" **

**"The other chaperone. Mrs. Dodds. The pre-algebra teacher." **

**He frowned and sat forward, looking mildly concerned. "Percy, there is no Mrs. Dodds on this trip. As far as I know, there has never been a Mrs. Dodds at Yancy Academy. Are you feeling all right?"**

"That's the end of the chapter," Zeus said, looking up at everyone.

Percy sighed. _At least this chapter didn't have anything too bad…shit, I hope Athena doesn't kill me for thinking about her daughter… oh my gods, I thought she looked pretty when I saw her….I better sneak out of the hall then. I'm going to get blasted to ashes. _

Thalia and Nico smiled evilly.

"I wish the part with Annabeth comes soon…" Thalia whispered.

Nico snickered.

Percy heard and flicked his hand.

Thalia and Nico were drenched.

Before they could retaliate, Poseidon took the book. "I'll read next," he said. "I want to know what happens to my son."

_Please do review, it's really encouraging and makes me want to write more for you guys. _

_Till next time! _


	3. Chapter 3

_Thanks so much for all the encouraging reviews. It really keeps me going. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Happy reading! _

_Oh, and a few more people are going to make appearances. ;)_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson and the Olympians. _

Chapter Three: Three Old Ladies Knit the Socks of Death

Poseidon was about to start reading the next chapter when suddenly there was a flash of light and two more people appeared-a centaur, and a red-haired girl.

"Chiron, what are we-"

The girl was talking very fast when she suddenly noticed the gods and demigods and quietened down.

"Rachel!" Annabeth exclaimed. The demigods immediately went over to greet Rachel, and explained the situation to her. She was more than willing to read the books with them.

"Chiron, is that a mortal girl?" Zeus asked, noticing the red-head. "Impossible! How could she get through the defences of Olympus?" Athena argued.

Rachel looked offended. "I am Rachel Elizabeth Dare, the-,"

"Don't!" Thalia said quickly. "We're not supposed to tell them anything about the future."

Apollo pouted.

Artemis rolled her eyes.

Chiron, who looked unsurprised by the news, calmly trotted forward and changed into his human form.

Poseidon started reading.

**Three Old Ladies Knit the Socks of Death. **

Everyone snorted.

"Percy, you have the most ridiculous chapter titles ever," Annabeth said, shaking her head.

**I was used to the occasional weird experience, but usually they were over quickly. **

"Being with Percy is a weird experience by itself," Nico snorted.

Percy gave Nico his famous death glare.

Nico slid away from Percy.

**For the rest of the school year, the entire campus seemed to be playing some kind of trick on me. The students acted as if they were completely and totally convinced that Mrs Kerr-a perky blonde woman whom I'd never seen in my life until she got on our bus at the end of the field trip-had been our maths teacher since Christmas. **

"The Mist."

**Every so often I would spring a Mrs Dodds reference on somebody, just to see if I could trip them up, but they would stare at me like I was psycho. **

"I don't blame them."

"I take that as an insult."

**It got so I almost believed them-Mrs Dodds had never existed. **

**Almost. **

Apollo leaned over to Hermes.

"Bet you twenty drachmas it's because of Grover."

"You're on."

**But Grover couldn't fool me. **

"HA!" Apollo shouted victoriously. "Pay up, Hermes."

Hermes grumbled and passed Apollo twenty drachmas.

**When I mentioned the name Dodds to him, he would hesitate-**

"Again with the hesitating," Travis sighed. "Grover, when this book is over we're going to give you lying lessons."

Grover thought about it for a while.

"Deal."

**-then claim she didn't exist. But I knew he was lying. **

**Something was going on. Something **_**had**_** happened at the museum. I didn't have much time to think about it during the days, but at night, visions of Mrs Dodds with talons and leathery wings would wake me up in a cold sweat. **

Poseidon glared at Hades, who started to look scared.

"If you ever do that to my son…" he left the threat hanging.

Hades gulped.

**The freak weather continued, which didn't help my mood. One night, a thunderstorm blew out the windows in my dorm room.**

Everyone glared at Zeus, who mumbled something and looked down.

**A few days later, the biggest tornado ever spotted in the Hudson Valley touched down only fifty miles from Yancy Academy.**

Cue looks at Poseidon.

**One of the current events we studied in social studies class was the unusual number of small planes that had gone down in sudden squalls in the Atlantic that year. **

"Zeus!" Hera scolded. "You can't just kill innocent mortals because of your temper tantrums!"

**I started feeling cranky and irritable most of the time. My grades slipped from Ds to Fs.**

Athena's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"I'm better now, I swear," Percy defended himself.

"Right," Thalia smirked.

**I got into more fights with Nancy Bobofit and her friends. I was sent out into the hallway in almost every class. **

**Finally, when our English teacher, Mr Nicoll, asked me for the millionth time why I was too lazy to study for spelling tests, I snapped. I called him an old sot.**

Thalia and Nico laughed.

**I wasn't even sure what it meant, but it sounded good. **

"It means a fool," Athena announced.

"Well, thanks for that bit of useless information," Poseidon rolled his eyes.

Athena glared at him.

**The headmaster sent my mom a letter the following week, making it official: I would not be invited back next year to Yancy Academy. **

"That's your seventh school in seven years," Thalia said.

Percy shot her a look.

**Fine, I told myself. Just fine. **

**I was homesick. **

Ares snickered.

He got splashed.

**I wanted to be with my mom in our little apartment on the Upper East Side, even if I had to go public school, and put up with my obnoxious stepfather and his stupid poker parties.**

"Poker parties…" Poseidon's eyes narrowed.

**And yet…there were things I'd miss at Yancy. The view of the woods out my dorm window, the Hudson River in the distance, the smell of the pine trees. I'd miss Grover, who'd been good friend-**

Grover smiled. "Thanks."

**-even if he was a little strange. **

Grover's smile vanished.

"Sorry," Percy said.

**I worried how he's survive next year without me. **

"Aww….he cares about his friends!" Aphrodite squealed.

Percy turned red.

Aphrodite was still dying to know who the _you know_ was.

**I'd miss Latin class, too-Mr Brunner's crazy tournament days and his faith that I could do well. **

Chiron smiled.

**As exam week got closer, Latin was the only test I studied for. I hadn't forgotten what Mr Brunner had told me about this subject being life-and-death for me. I wasn't sure why, but I'd started to believe him.**

"That isn't good," Athena stated. "It means you're starting to realize who you are."

"Thanks for the obvious, Owl Head," Poseidon retorted, breathing faster.

**The evening before the final, I got so frustrated I threw the **_**Cambridge Guide to Greek Mythology **_**across my dorm room.**

"You threw a book!" Athena yelled.

"I picked it up after that!"

Poseidon rolled his eyes. Athena was being ridiculous.

**Words had started swimming off the page, the letters doing one-eighties as if they were riding skateboards. **

"So that's dyslexia?" Rachel whispered.

The demigods nodded.

"Woah."

**There was no way I was going to remember the difference between Chiron and Charon-**

Chiron looked slightly offended.

**-or Polydictes and Polydeuces. And conjugating those Latin verbs? Forget it. **

All the demigods except Annabeth, of course, nodded in agreement.

**I paced the room, feeling like ants were crawling around inside my shirt. **

**I remembered Mr. Brunner's serious expression, his thousand-year-old eyes.**

"More than that," Annabeth said.

**I will accept only the best from you, Percy Jackson.**

**I took a deep breath. I picked up the mythology book.**

Athena's expression relaxed slightly.

**I'd never asked a teacher for help before. Maybe if I talked to Mr. Brunner, he could give me some pointers. At least I could apologize for the big fat F I was about to score on his exam. I didn't want to leave Yancy Academy with him thinking I hadn't tried.**

Athena nodded. At least he tried.

**I walked downstairs to the faculty offices. Most of them were dark and empty, but Mr. Brunner's door was ajar, light from his window stretching across the hallway floor. **

**I was three steps from the door handle when I heard voices inside the office. Mr. Brunner asked a question. A voice that was definitely Grover's said "... worried about Percy, sir." **

**I froze. **

**I'm not usually an eavesdropper-**

"Right," Rachel snorted.

**-but I dare you to try not listening if you hear your best friend talking about you to an adult. **

Rachel thought about that. "I guess you have a point."

**I inched closer. **

**"... alone this summer," Grover was saying. "I mean, a Kindly One in the school! Now that we know for sure, and they know too-" **

**"We would only make matters worse by rushing him," Mr. Brunner said. "We need the boy to mature more." **

All the demigods snickered.

"If we wait for Percy to mature more, we'll all be old and grey," Nico snorted.

Percy made a rude gesture at Nico.

Annabeth wanted to kiss him on the cheek, but noticed her mother's eyes on her. She tried not to turn red.

**"But he may not have time. The summer solstice deadline- " **

**"Will have to be resolved without him, Grover. Let him enjoy his ignorance while he still can." **

**"Sir, he saw her... ." **

**"His imagination," Mr. Brunner insisted. "The Mist over the students and staff will be enough to convince him of that." **

**"Sir, I ... I can't fail in my duties again."**

"You didn't fail, Grover," all the demigods said at once. Grover smiled at them.

**Grover's voice was choked with emotion. "You know what that would mean." **

**"You haven't failed, Grover," Mr. Brunner said kindly. "I should have seen her for what she was. Now let's just worry about keeping Percy alive until next fall-" **

**The mythology book dropped out of my hand and hit the floor with a thud. **

"Percy, you need lessons on how to keep silent," Connor Stoll said, shaking his head.

**Mr. Brunner went silent. **

**My heart hammering, I picked up the book and backed down the hall. **

**A shadow slid across the lighted glass of Brunner's office door, the shadow of something much taller than my wheelchair-bound teacher, holding something that looked suspiciously like an archer's bow. **

"Maybe because it is an archer's bow?" Annabeth said, rolling her eyes.

Percy quickly squeezed her hand tightly, making sure Athena and Aphrodite didn't see him.

Annabeth smiled.

**I opened the nearest door and slipped inside. **

**A few seconds later I heard a slow clop-clop-clop, like muffled wood blocks, then a sound like an animal snuffling right outside my door. A large, dark shape paused in front of the glass, then moved on. **

**A bead of sweat trickled down my neck. **

**Somewhere in the hallway, Mr. Brunner spoke. "Nothing," he murmured. "My nerves haven't been right since the winter solstice." **

**"Mine neither," Grover said. "But I could have sworn ..." **

**"Go back to the dorm," Mr. Brunner told him. "You've got a long day of exams tomorrow."**

"Really, Chiron?" Apollo said. "You just had to add that didn't you?"

Chiron smiled slightly. 

**"Don't remind me." **

**The lights went out in Mr. Brunner's office. **

**I waited in the dark for what seemed like forever. **

**Finally, I slipped out into the hallway and made my way back up to the dorm. **

**Grover was lying on his bed, studying his Latin exam notes like he'd been there all night. **

**"Hey," he said, bleary-eyed. "You going to be ready for this test?" **

"Am I ever ready for anything?"

**I didn't answer. **

**"You look awful." He frowned. "Is everything okay?" **

**"Just... tired." **

**I turned so he couldn't read my expression, and started getting ready for bed. **

**I didn't understand what I'd heard downstairs. I wanted to believe I'd imagined the whole thing. **

**But one thing was clear: Grover and Mr. Brunner were talking about me behind my back. **

"Sorry about that, Percy," Chiron said apologetically. "It was kind of necessary."

"I understand now."

**They thought I was in some kind of danger.**

"Dun dun dun dun…" Travis, Connor and Chris said dramatically.

**The next afternoon, as I was leaving the three-hour Latin exam, my eyes swimming with all the Greek and Roman names I'd misspelled, Mr. Brunner called me back inside. **

**For a moment, I was worried he'd found out about my eavesdropping the night before, but that didn't seem to be the problem. **

**"Percy," he said. "Don't be discouraged about leaving Yancy. It's ... it's for the best." **

Some of the gods and demigods winced.

"Probably shouldn't have put it like that…." Poseidon trailed off.

**His tone was kind, but the words still embarrassed me. Even though he was speaking quietly, the other kids finishing the test could hear. Nancy Bobofit smirked at me and made sarcastic little kissing motions with her lips. **

"Oh, I am going to kill her," Thalia said murderously.

"I'll join you," Nico agreed.

"And me," Annabeth put in.

Percy smiled at his friends and girlfriend. "Thanks, guys."

"Don't worry about it," Nico grinned. "No one messes with our cousin…except us, of course."

Percy rolled his eyes.

**I mumbled, "Okay, sir." **

**"I mean ..." Mr. Brunner wheeled his chair back and forth, like he wasn't sure what to say. "This isn't the right place for you. It was only a matter of time."**

"Chiron, you really need to learn to word things better." 

**My eyes stung. **

**Here was my favourite teacher, in front of the class, telling me I couldn't handle it. After saying he believed in me all year, now he was telling me I was destined to get kicked out. **

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that…" Chiron apologized.

"It's fine."

**"Right," I said, trembling. **

**"No, no," Mr. Brunner said. "Oh, confound it all. What I'm trying to say ... you're not normal, Percy. That's nothing to be-" **

**"Thanks," I blurted. "Thanks a lot, sir, for reminding me." **

"It's not like that…"

"I know."

**"Percy-" **

**But I was already gone. **

**On the last day of the term, I shoved my clothes into my suitcase.**

**The other guys were joking around, talking about their vacation plans. One of them was going on a hiking trip to Switzerland. Another was cruising the Caribbean for a month. They were juvenile delinquents, like me, but they were rich juvenile delinquents. Their daddies were executives, or ambassadors, or celebrities. I was a nobody, from a family of nobodies. **

All the gods looked at Percy.

"I wouldn't exactly call us nobodies," Poseidon said.

"I didn't know then. Sorry."

**They asked me what I'd be doing this summer and I told them I was going back to the city. **

**What I didn't tell them was that I'd have to get a summer job walking dogs or selling magazine subscriptions, and spend my free time worrying about where I'd go to school in the fall. **

**"Oh," one of the guys said. "That's cool." **

**They went back to their conversation as if I'd never existed. **

**The only person I dreaded saying good-bye to was Grover, but as it turned out, I didn't have to. He'd booked a ticket to Manhattan on the same Greyhound as I had, so there we were, together again, heading into the city. **

**During the whole bus ride, Grover kept glancing nervously down the aisle, watching the other passengers. It occurred to me that he'd always acted nervous and fidgety when we left Yancy, as if he expected something bad to happen. **

"Grover, you are really bad at hiding things from people."

Grover turned red.

**Before, I'd always assumed he was worried about getting teased. **

**But there was nobody to tease him on the Greyhound. **

**Finally I couldn't stand it anymore. **

**I said, "Looking for Kindly Ones?" **

**Grover nearly jumped out of his seat. **

"That would have been fun to see," Travis grinned.

Katie rolled her eyes at him, smiling slightly.

**"Wha-what do you mean?" **

**I confessed about eavesdropping on him and Mr. Brunner the night before the exam. **

**Grover's eye twitched. "How much did you hear?" **

**"Oh ... not much. What's the summer solstice deadline?" **

**He winced. "Look, Percy ... I was just worried for you, see? I mean, hallucinating about demon math teachers ..." **

"Grover, your pathetic attempts at lying are getting really hard to bear," Travis said.

Grover blushed even more.

**"Grover-" **

**"And I was telling Mr. Brunner that maybe you were overstressed or something, because there was no such person as Mrs. Dodds, and ..." **

**"Grover, you're a really, really bad liar." **

**His ears turned pink. **

"Like they are now, goat boy," Thalia teased him.

"Will you stop calling me that?"

"Calling you what, goat boy?"

Grover huffed.

**From his shirt pocket, he fished out a grubby business card. "Just take this, okay? In case you need me this summer. **

**The card was in fancy script, which was murder on my dyslexic eyes-**

"I always meant to ask, why are those cards so hard to read?" Connor wondered.

Everyone turned to Dionysus, who looked up from his wine magazine.

He shrugged.

"You better change it," Zeus glowered. "You're supposed to be helping, not making life worse."

**-but I finally made out something like: **

**Grover Underwood **

**Keeper **

**Half-Blood Hill **

**Long Island, New York **

**(800) 009-0009 **

**"What's Half-" **

**"Don't say it aloud!" he yelped. "That's my, um ... summer address." **

**My heart sank. Grover had a summer home. I'd never considered that his family might be as rich as the others at Yancy. **

"Well, when you put it that way…"

**"Okay," I said glumly. "So, like, if I want to come visit your mansion." **

**He nodded. "Or ... or if you need me." **

**"Why would I need you?" **

Hermes and Apollo winced. "Ouch."

"Sorry, G-man," Percy apologized.

**It came out harsher than I meant it to. **

**Grover blushed right down to his Adam's apple. "Look, Percy, the truth is, I-I kind of have to protect you." **

**I stared at him. **

**All year long, I'd gotten in fights, keeping bullies away from him. I'd lost sleep worrying that he'd get beaten up next year without me. **

Aphrodite squealed.

Percy turned pink.

**And here he was acting like he was the one who defended me. **

**"Grover," I said, "what exactly are you protecting me from?" **

**There was a huge grinding noise under our feet. Black smoke poured from the dashboard and the whole bus filled with a smell like rotten eggs. The driver cursed and limped the Greyhound over to the side of the highway. **

**After a few minutes clanking around in the engine compartment, the driver announced that we'd all have to get off. Grover and I filed outside with everybody else. **

**We were on a stretch of country road-no place you'd notice if you didn't break down there. On our side of the highway was nothing but maple trees and litter from passing cars. On the other side, across four lanes of asphalt shimmering with afternoon heat, was an old-fashioned fruit stand.**

**The stuff on sale looked really good: heaping boxes of blood-red cherries and apples, walnuts and apricots, jugs of cider in a claw-foot tub full of ice. There were no customers, just three old ladies sitting in rocking chairs in the shade of a maple tree, knitting the biggest pair of socks I'd ever seen. **

Athena's eyes widened.

**I mean these socks were the size of sweaters, but they were clearly socks. The lady on the right knitted one of them. The lady on the left knitted the other. The lady in the middle held an enormous basket of electric-blue yarn. **

"Please tell me that's not-" Poseidon started to say.

Athena cut him off.

"It is."

Poseidon turned pale.

**All three women looked ancient, with pale faces wrinkled like fruit leather, silver hair tied back in white bandannas, bony arms sticking out of bleached cotton dresses. **

"Please don't be looking at him, please don't be looking at him," Poseidon pleaded, to whom no one knew.

**The weirdest thing was, they seemed to be looking right at me. **

Apollo quickly handed Poseidon some Advil.

He swallowed about ten.

**I looked over at Grover to say something about this and saw that the blood had drained from his face. **

**His nose was twitching. **

Everyone laughed.

"You sure know how to diffuse tension, Seaweed Brain."

**"Grover?" I said. "Hey, man-" **

**"Tell me they're not looking at you. They are, aren't they?" **

**"Yeah. Weird, huh? You think those socks would fit me?" **

"Not funny, man," Apollo said seriously.

**"Not funny, Percy. Not funny at all." **

**The old lady in the middle took out a huge pair of scissors-gold and silver, long-bladed, like shears. **

Poseidon's eyes became like saucers. He looked like he was about to start hyperventilating.

**I heard Grover catch his breath. **

**"We're getting on the bus," he told me. "Come on." **

**"What?" I said. "It's a thousand degrees in there." **

**"Come on!'" He pried open the door and climbed inside, but I stayed back. **

**Across the road, the old ladies were still watching me. The middle one cut the yarn-**

There was a collective gasp of shock.

The God of the Sea looked like he was about to faint.

**-and I swear I could hear that snip across four lanes of traffic. Her two friends balled up the electric-blue socks, leaving me wondering who they could possibly be for-Sasquatch or Godzilla. **

No one laughed. They were too tensed.

**At the rear of the bus, the driver wrenched a big chunk of smoking metal out of the engine compartment. The bus shuddered, and the engine roared back to life. **

"Yes please get out of there," Poseidon said worriedly.

**The passengers cheered. **

**"Darn right!" yelled the driver. He slapped the bus with his hat. **

"Hey, why take it out on the bus?"

Artemis rolled her eyes at Apollo. _How did I ever end up with him as a brother? _

**"Everybody back on board!" **

**Once we got going, I started feeling feverish, as if I'd caught the flu. **

Poseidon didn't look much better.

**Grover didn't look much better. He was shivering and his teeth were chattering. **

**"Grover?" **

**"Yeah?" **

**"What are you not telling me?" **

**He dabbed his forehead with his shirt sleeve. "Percy, what did you see back at the fruit stand?" **

**"You mean the old ladies? What is it about them, man? They're not like ... Mrs. Dodds, are they?" **

"They're much worse," Hades said.

**His expression was hard to read, but I got the feeling that the fruit-stand ladies were something much, much worse than Mrs. Dodds. He said, "Just tell me what you saw." **

**"The middle one took out her scissors, and she cut the yarn." **

**He closed his eyes and made a gesture with his fingers that might've been crossing himself, but it wasn't. **

**It was something else, something almost-older. **

**He said, "You saw her snip the cord." **

**"Yeah. So?"**

"This really isn't the time, Percy!" Annabeth said. She remembered Luke, and looked sad.

Percy gave her a quick hug, which Athena saw.

She frowned. She needed to talk with her daughter.

**But even as I said it, I knew it was a big deal. **

"At least you worked that out," Thalia said.

**"This is not happening," Grover mumbled. He started chewing at his thumb. "I don't want this to be like the last time." **

The Daughter of Zeus looked down.

**"What last time?" **

**"Always sixth grade. They never get past sixth." **

**"Grover," I said, because he was really starting to scare me. "What are you talking about?" **

**"Let me walk you home from the bus station. Promise me." **

**This seemed like a strange request to me, but I promised he could. **

**"Is this like a superstition or something?" I asked. **

**No answer. **

**"Grover-that snipping of the yarn. Does that mean somebody is going to die?" **

Everyone who knew who the 'somebody' was looked sad.

**He looked at me mournfully, like he was already picking the kind of flowers I'd like best on my coffin. **

Poseidon stopped reading. "That's the end of the chapter."

"Well, that was cheery," Hermes said, trying to diffuse the tension. It worked a little.

"Who's reading next?" Poseidon asked, holding out the book. Hades took it. "I will." Everyone looked a little surprised, but no one questioned it.

Hades turned it to the next chapter.

**Grover Unexpectedly Loses His Pants. **

_So after not updating for so long, I finally got my lazy butt moving and did it! Yay for me! _

_I'll try to update quicker on the next chapter. Do review and tell me what you thought of this chapter! _

_Till next time! _


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